Going through this year has made me come to the realisation of the fact that regardless of what I disliked about my life I'm still not willing to let it go. I suppose the freedom I now have has given me a chance to be who I want, but at the same time I struggle with the fact that who I want isn't really who I know I want to be. The mess is so weird, trying to hold onto in a sense my childlikeness while at the same time trying to be more "mature" so to speak. I don't think I can juggle that, actually my track record suggest I can't juggle that.
I want to be a kid I guess. It's strange because right now I know I am but at the same time I outcast myself by thinking that I'm falling behind. Everyone is moving on, but here I am stationary. With all the conflicting ideas and thoughts the only thing I can really do is accept. Accept it work with it and move forward, thats my battle.
I want love. Interpret it as you please whoever is reading this, but that's it I guess.
"I know you'll be there cause you'll know I want you to be there and we'll say hello" - Relient K
Peter.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
I'm keen on finding it.
I'm looking to find myself. I suppose living for so long thinking I knew everything took its tool as I have come to realise that I never really knew me. I couldn't find words to really describe me. In a sense I'm a photo with an empty caption and well that photo really needs a quirky line for it to be complete. I want to know who me wants and aims to be. I want to know who me really likes. I want to know who me really dislikes.
I think we get the message that I want to know me. I thought perhaps I was meant to be a certain way, that everything around me was perhaps the way I am. But as much as everything around you defines you who are, it isn't necessarily true if where and how you are doesn't make you happy. Perhaps it would suggest that where you are isn't where you should be. I say that with the intention that statement to refer to a literal place of being or even the mental aspect of being. But nonetheless I believe that if where you're at doesn't make you truly happy it's time to move.
I guess with this blog I'm just really posing the question to my self where am I and who do I want to be. People would suggest looking to your heart, but I don't really know what that means. Maybe in the process of finding me, I might also find my heart.
"I'm the cop looking for the robber who stole my heart" - Peter
Peter.
I think we get the message that I want to know me. I thought perhaps I was meant to be a certain way, that everything around me was perhaps the way I am. But as much as everything around you defines you who are, it isn't necessarily true if where and how you are doesn't make you happy. Perhaps it would suggest that where you are isn't where you should be. I say that with the intention that statement to refer to a literal place of being or even the mental aspect of being. But nonetheless I believe that if where you're at doesn't make you truly happy it's time to move.
I guess with this blog I'm just really posing the question to my self where am I and who do I want to be. People would suggest looking to your heart, but I don't really know what that means. Maybe in the process of finding me, I might also find my heart.
"I'm the cop looking for the robber who stole my heart" - Peter
Peter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)